Who of you had sex but actually did not want it?

Who of you had sex but actually did not want it?

Every time I ask that question, all hands go up.

Did someone ever tell you what you should like?

Mostly, all women I ask, say yes to that.

So let me share a little story with you ...

Back in the days, I didn’t know what I liked as I did not start self-pleasuring until I was 20+ years old. So I was completely dependent on my sexual partners to tell me what we’d do.

How we would do “it”

How often we would do “it”

So many times I had sex and realized that I actually did not want to have sex in that moment or more importantly that I desired something completely different. Slowly and slowly my voice deep inside of me told me that there was more out there than just clitoral peak orgasms or 20 minutes fast sex.

The first time, I got asked the question “who of you had sex and did not want it?” at a tantra training, it hit me fully.

I realized that I never asked myself

Am I ready?

Is my yoni ready?

Is my heart fully here?

From that point onward, I’d always ask my yoni for permission to touch or to enter her.

Each partner I am intimate with, has to do the same.

Sometimes she says no.

Sometimes she says yes.

It’s about giving back the power to our sexual organs.

Because when we do that, we get to experience a much deeper orgasmic state and move towards full body orgasms. We completely own our truth.

And with that comes knowing what we desire and where our boundaries are.

So I discovered more and more of what I liked and didn't.

And one day, the universe sent me a test. Like a test if I’d really honor my yoni.

I was intimate with a man and told him that my yoni was a no for him. My body wanted to explore him and our connection but I asked him to not touch my yoni, neither inside nor outside.

And a few minutes later he placed one of his fingers into my vaginal entrance.

I breathed deeply.

And in a completely calm state, I took his hands off my body.

He said that he read my body and that my body wanted it.

I was like “Wait what - you think you know my body better than I do??”

What a procracity to believe that anyone in this world knows my body better than I do.

At that moment, I was so deeply in love with my body.

Knowing my boundaries and honoring my commitment that I only engage in intimate connections when I am ready, when my yoni is ready, is truly liberating and the path to freedom.


Anything you feel is right.

Because you feel it.

Trust your feelings.

Sisters, no-one knows your body better than you do.

Never let anyone tell you what you should like or dislike.

Find your own unique way of honoring your yoni and your womb.

Only move into an intimate connection when you feel ready.

Because when you do so, your path to orgasmic bliss opens up.

Female sexuality and yoni connection is part of my free yourself course. More information here.

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