I’ve been in so many friendships with sisters that have been toxic. I could write a whole book about these past relationships. Over and over again, I got myself into unhealthy dynamics.
I felt inferior
not respected nor seen
me fighting for attention
Over and over again, I asked myself why these people don’t love me back like the way I love them?
Don’t I deserve their attention?
I love holding space for people and I love giving, so I overgave. Over and over again, I simply gave my energy, time, gifts, brunches, you name it. And over and over again I felt disappointed as the same amount of love and attention did not come back. I felt used.
I spend hours crying. Feeling alone.
There was a turning point. A turning point where I realized that the women I am attracting into my life are a pattern of my grandmother.
This was her story. Not mine.
She was not able to clear it and hence it was my purpose to clear this. She believed that women are bad people. Men are better. So I kept fighting for the attention of women but underneath all of that I was afraid of women .. I was not aware of that. But I was.
I was afraid of women who stand in their power. Who believe in themselves. Who are anchored in their purpose.
Because, let’s be honest. I was afraid to be that woman. That woman who stands in her power and strength. The woman who is not making herself smaller. The woman that is respected and fully seen. I was afraid to clear my grandmother’s story.
And I was overgiving because I wanted to receive. And giving with expectation is taking. I was in need of love.
And women manipulate if they are not in their power.
The moment all of this really cracked me open from the inside out, I got the courage to look into this pattern and to clear her and my wounds around female friendships.
Sisters, when we are in a healthy female friendship, we never feel judged but instead
Because the truth is: Two strong women who are rooted in themselves are kick-ass amazing sisters together.
We can do this, sisters.
During my free yourself program, we dive into ancestral clearing. Read more here.